Canned Colbert: ‘I’m more conservative than people think’

Rush Limbaugh. Sean Hannity. Glenn Beck. Charles Krauthammer.

Stephen Colbert?

Oscar-winner George Clooney says running Vice President Kamala Harris at the top of the ticket last year was a Democratic boo-boo.

“The Late Show” host opened up in a new interview with GQ Magazine, the bible for liberal men who practice what Adam Carolla calls the “deep-crease” leg cross. Colbert talked on a range of issues, but one probably caught everyone by surprise.

Turns out he’s pretty conservative. Just ask him.

“People perceive me as this sort of lefty figure. ... I think I’m more conservative than people think. I just happen to be talking about a government in extremis.”

One, that’s funnier than anything Colbert has said in ages. Two, it’s part of an age-old practice where progressives insist they’re more fair ’n’ balanced than conservative yokels even realize.

Three? Show us the “Late Show” monologue that reflects a conservative viewpoint during his 10-year run on the program. We’ll wait ...

Mr. Clooney regrets

Now he tells us.

Oscar winner George Clooney says running Vice President Kamala Harris at the top of the ticket last year was a Democratic boo-boo.

Clooney, starring in the awards season drama “Jay Kelly,” told “CBS News Sunday Morning” that Democrats needed a rigorous primary process to pick a successor to the very healthy, not remotely unwell Joe Biden.

That’s not all, though.

“I think the mistake with it being Kamala is that she had to run against her own record. ... It’s very hard to do if the point of running is to say, ‘I’m not that person.’ It’s hard to do, and so she was given a very tough task. I think it was a mistake, quite honestly.”

Wait ... what’s wrong with the Biden-Harris record? Weren’t we talking about adding a fifth head to Mt. Rushmore for a spell, that of the magnificent Joseph Robinette Biden Jr.? Didn’t Harris’ border czaring save the planet?

It’s almost as if Clooney is lost without a script ...

RELATED: Kamala Harris pushes to lower voting age to 16 — in honor of 'climate anxiety'

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No remorse

Kristin Chenoweth breaks easily, apparently.

The film and Broadway star dared to share a human emotion following the assassination of Charlie Kirk.

"Didn’t always agree but appreciated some perspectives. ... What a heartbreak. His young family. I know where he is now. Heaven. But still."

Right on cue, the far-far-left ghouls savaged her on social media. And instead of telling said ghouls to rhetorically “drop dead,” she quasi-retracted said human emotion on social media.

Now, reflecting on the matter, she shared how close she came to “breaking.”

“It was tough on me, but I’m not going to answer any questions about it because I dealt with it. It nearly broke me, and that’s all I’m going to say. You probably know my heart, so you probably know.”

Handle with care? She deserves the same warning label as that “Christmas Story” leg lamp — fragile ...

Spike’s spite

This just in — Spike Lee is mad.

The auteur has made being grumpy part of his brand. He’s a New York Knicks fan, so part of that crankiness comes naturally. He’s also constantly complaining about a certain president. And over the years, he’s whined about Hollywood robbing him early and often.

The poor guy has only two golden statuettes.

Now, he’s complaining that his latest film, “Highest 2 Lowest,” got buried by Apple.

The Denzel Washington film came and went in theaters (just 200 screens) in August, jumping quickly to Apple TV. He initially praised Team Apple for supporting the film, acknowledging how the industry was changing and he had to adjust along with it.

He’s had a change of heart.

“I am not happy,” he told the Wall Street Journal about the film’s blink-and-you-miss-it theatrical rollout.

This critic saw “Highest 2 Lowest,” and he’s not happy to have lost two hours of his valuable time ...

‘Predator’ pride

You can’t blame Hollywood for dragging our favorite Predator back in front of a camera. The industry just suffered a terrible, no-good month of box office woes, and audiences care more about existing properties than original stories.

Sad, but true.

So another “Predator” movie was, like Thanos, inevitable.

“Predator: Badlands” hits theaters this weekend, but with a twist. The creature that hunted Ah-nold and killed all his military buddies back in 1987 (spoiler alert?) returns, but this time he’s the good guy.

What?

Yup. He and his robot sidekick (Elle Fanning) are the heroes in the new film.

What’s next, a story making us care about Cruella de Vil and why she became the monster we saw in “101 Dalmatians”? Or a story sharing how the Wicked Witch of the West was actually just a misunderstood gal who suffered bullying in her peer group?

Oh, wait.