DILF on a shelf

3D print artist Jeffrey King

STEVEN LINDSEY | Contributing writer
StevenCraigLindsey@gmail.com

Has a Christmas gift ever made you horny? If not, there’s a first time for everything.
When some people get a 3D printer, they might make a keychain, a flower pot or any number of practical gadgets. But not gay artist Jeffrey King. He transitioned from creating a knob for a piece of furniture to creating knobs of a far more enticing variety — man knobs!

King explained, “Having spent years designing 3D computer models as a hobby, I saw an opportunity to combine that passion with functional design to create something unique, stylish and fun. That idea gave birth to All The Kings Men.”

Translation: Sexy naked cowboys, jocks and bears that take full advantage of their three-dimensional existence. Unlike the famed Naked Cowboy in New York’s Times Square, these strapping men show all the goods — chiseled chests, bare buttocks, and peens pointed skyward. Most measure between five and 10 inches high.

“One of the most common questions I hear from customers is, ‘Who are the models? People are curious about their identities and where they can be found. The truth is, every model is entirely fictional, born from imagination rather than reality,” King said. “Once I create a body or face that feels right, I often revisit it in new ways: experimenting with different poses, hairstyles, accessories, and expressions. This approach allows each figure to evolve while maintaining a sense of continuity, giving every piece its own unique personality.”

Too bad they’re not based on real men, because the model for Cowboy Caked Up needs to be taken out to the barn for a roll in the hay.

Once King’s happy with the man on-screen, it becomes a waiting game. Depending on the design’s complexity, printing can take anywhere from 3 hours to over 30. Fortunately, he says, modern technology makes this process remarkably efficient. Once the digital file is prepared and uploaded, the printer takes over. To create the incredibly life-like figures, he uses PLA filament.

“Often, I’ll start a print in the evening and let the machines run overnight. By morning, the figures are complete, lightweight yet visually substantial, and ready for the next stage: meticulous cleanup,” he said.

“From there, they’re carefully packed and prepared for display at local art shows and markets, where they finally meet the eyes and hands of those who appreciate their unique beauty.”

King’s preference is matte white. This finish evokes the look of stone and creates an illusion of weight, even though the actual sculptures are remarkably lightweight, a detail that often surprises people.

“Many people ask if the pieces can be painted, and the answer is yes. They accept acrylic paints beautifully. Recently, I’ve started experimenting with airbrushing to demonstrate how well the filament responds to color.”

King works in home finance by day, so this is an outlet for his creative side.

“The goal is once I retire from the home finance world, this will become more than just a side hustle.”

He certainly has the ideas to expand.

“I am committed to continually introducing new figures and body types into my work. Representation matters, and I strive to reflect diversity by incorporating a range of body shapes, ethnicities, and community identities,” he mentioned. “Recently, I’ve broadened my collection to include unique elements of kink culture, featuring ‘pups’ in various poses — one even designed as a festive Christmas ornament.”

On occasion, you’ll find King at The Hidden Door and various vendor markets selling his sculptures, but you can also order from his website (AllTheKingsMen.net). Price points for his current collection range from $24-$40.

“Shopping local and supporting small businesses is essential year-round, not just during the holiday season. Many small businesses face challenges throughout the year, and choosing to shop locally helps keep our communities vibrant and economically strong,” King said.

He continued, “In today’s climate, supporting LGBTQ-owned businesses is especially vital.

Doing so ensures that our community remains active, visible, and resilient in the face of growing hate toward the LGBTQ community.”

King remains genuinely grateful and thrilled that the community has embraced his artistic vision.

“It’s incredibly rewarding to see how people use and enjoy the pieces I create,” he said.

“Their enthusiasm continues to fuel my creativity and drive this journey forward.”