Maduro Is a Mustachioed Turkey With Bird Flu (and Deserves No Pardon)

Trump has finally pardoned his turkeys — and the ones Joe Biden had wrongly pardoned — and that has given us freedom lovers some peace of mind, because none of them goes by the name “Nicolás Maduro.” The worst thing that can happen to a totalitarian regime is to become laughable, and Maduro’s latest spectacle shouting “no war” and “yes peace” is, in my view, reason enough to bomb Miraflores for at least a full week — if not with actual bombs, then at least with heavy books, because nothing terrifies a Chavista more than a thick book. (RELATED: We Should Declare War on the Cancerous Cartel in Caracas)
There’s always something magical and brilliant about Trump. Maybe it’s his sense of humor. While the whole world waits for an official statement on possible actions regarding Venezuela; while Maduro confesses he hasn’t slept in days due to the tension, awaiting the United States’ decision; and while Trump puts a price on his head — suddenly the president appears before the media to joke about a turkey too beautiful to kill, a turkey he even pets several times, showing not the slightest fear, by the way, of the avian flu that has led Europe — thanks to the genius political class in Brussels — to impose mandatory mass confinement of hens. The hens, in response, have gone on strike from laying eggs. And now we Europeans are paying prices for eggs that make them feel like golden eggs. We are experiencing, if you’ll pardon the expression, the coronavirus of eggs. I’d bet anything that these idiots who govern us will end up making masks mandatory for chickens. (RELATED: Maduro and American Mixed-Messaging)
Of all the immigrants I’ve met in Europe, the ones most eager to return to their homeland — once it’s free — are Venezuelans and Cubans. As for Argentinians, most have already gone back now that Kirchner’s allies are in power in Spain and Javier Milei has money flowing again in Argentina. But among Venezuelan exiles, not a single one wants to know anything about what’s happ...